Zoo

Since Kris’s 5 days off started with a VERY short trip to the cabin, we decided to try to salvage the rest of the weekend by heading to Tucson.  We made our last trip to Costco before Baby Jack arrives and stocked up on some things, plus we did a little Christmas shopping and saw our friend Sara.  In an attempt to do something fun, we took Annie to Reid Park Zoo.  It was hot, so we didn’t survive the whole zoo (okay, mom got grumpy and hot and declared we were leaving about halfway through). 

I’m amazed at how much Annie knows about animals.  One day we were walking and she started talking about squirrels.  I said to her, “How do you know about squirrels?”  She just smiled.  She’s one smart kiddo!  We knew that she would love the zoo!

Checking out the elephants…She kept saying there was a Mama Elephant and a Daddy Elephant.

Emily wasn’t too impressed…but she enjoyed the ride.:)

Checking out the turtles

  

She tried SO hard to say Rhinoceros!

 

Peacocks

SO worth the 50 cents!!

 

Annie hated the aviary.  HATED.  There was a bird that growled at her.:)  Plus, they surrounded her (they were behind a netting).  She screamed and tried to run out of the cages.

What a way to end the morning…apple juice in an alligator cup!:)

 

Mountains

 

We tried to go up to our cabin for a few days…but we only lasted one night!  Between kids not sleeping and parents not sleeping and a pregnant mom…it was pretty obvious after that one night that the rest of the trip would be pretty bad.:)  We lasted long enough to get some cute pictures, though.

Emily & Grandpa

 

This is what tired looks like…

Once she got her second wind, Annie ran up and down the stairs.  She had a ball playing in the dirt and gathering sticks.

   

Emily watching from inside.

 

Kris making breakfast…potatoes, Spam and eggs!

 

Who doesn’t LOVE bubbles!?

9 Months!

Emily went in for her 9 month visit this last week. She’s growing up so fast, I can hardly believe it! She’s weighing in at 19 1/2 lbs.(75th percentile) and is 27 1/2 in. long (50th percentile).

Emily is crawling like CRAZY! She can get into anything she wants to and follows her big sister everywhere! She’s also cruising along the couches, which hopefully means she’s walking by November. That, of course, is a double edged sword…but I’m pretty sure it will be MUCH easier on this mom if she is walking, and I don’t have to carry her everywhere!

Emily loves to talk and laugh, especially with Annie. They egg each other on and can make each other laugh at the drop of a hat. She loves her big sister! We had a little incident at church…she clobbered a baby smaller than her with a toy. I hope that’s not a sign of what’s to come with Baby Jack!:)

Sunday

Here’s my confession…At the beginning of the week I chose to watch a movie that I absolutely shouldn’t have watched. A friend said it had a good story to it and it wasn’t “that scary.” I’m a big baby when it comes to scary movies…I like the feeling of being scared, I just don’t like it to last. And usually I don’t watch anything where that feeling lasts – because, let’s get real, there’s no such thing as zombies or vampires.

Here’s what I learned…what you allow in your home (as far as media, TV, music, etc.) affects the Spirit of your home. No kidding, right? The prophets have been saying that for years. I’m a proud person, though, and have always kind of considered myself immune to that…like I am unaffected by it and can watch/listen/read pretty much anything I want and it makes no difference.

Wrong.

All week, since watching this movie, I can’t get these VERY vivid images out of my head. What’s worse is that all those images from the movie have led to ridiculous thoughts in my own head.

I haven’t had a good night of sleep in a week. Emily has had a hard time getting to sleep with me (Kris is on graveyards), because as soon as I walk into her dark room, I panic, my heart rate goes nuts and she can tell.

I’m embarrassed and ashamed that I would knowingly let this feeling into my home. And very humbled.

That’s probably why our Sunday was so awful. I’ve been a total grouch all week. Annie has hit that phase where she just chatters all the time. I want her to be quiet. Like, 5 minutes of quiet would be awesome. She just goes. It’s crazy. All morning, I wanted to tape her mouth shut (no lie). And all morning I kept thinking, “Church better be good.” Yeah, of course its going to be stellar with that kind of attitude.

Our Relief Society lesson was about getting the monkeys off your back. Two things I needed to hear:

• The opening song – “Count Your Blessings”
• “If anyone can change the dismal situation into which we are sliding, it is you. Rise up, oh women of Zion, rise up to the great challenge which faces you.” GORDON B. HINCKLEY (I Googled this quote and loved the end part of it: “My message to you, my challenge to you, my prayer is that you will rededicate yourselves to the strengthening of your homes.”)

I’m feeling a little (okay, A LOT) more determined to get rid of my monkeys, those comfortable little things that give me lots of excuses for doing things I shouldn’t (should’ve, would’ve could’ve). First step, no more scary movies at my house.

Sundays are exhausting…

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to…

Today my Annie is 2 1/2.  I didn’t think I’d really care after she turned 2.  I mean, no regular doctor check-ups until she turns 3, no big milestones like when they’re little and tackling everything.  But seriously, I care because my kid is freakin’ AMAZING.

Annie is so full of spunkiness, I am seriously always laughing.  It’s awesome.  She has been saying and doing the most ridiculous things lately.  On our trip to Vegas, we bought her fruit snacks that had smiley faces on them.  She called them “Happies”.  When she would finish them, she’d say, “Happy no more,” and shake the package upside down.  On our way home from Vegas, she was sleeping and Emily was crying.  She woke up and said, “Mom, baby’s crying.  Get a bottle.  And binky.”  Seriously, who is this kid!?:) 

She is very quick to say please, thank you and you’re welcome (even when its not necessary).  She also loves to walk up and say, “Mom, what are you doing?”  She does it several times in a row, so it isn’t always cute, but the first few times it is.:) 

Yesterday in the car, she was pretending to have a camera.  She’d say, “Smile!” and then take a picture and say, “Oh that’s so cute.”  I can’t believe the things she not only picks up on, but how long she remembers them for!

One of my favorite things she does is, after cleaning up toys or doing something we’ve asked her to do, she throws her arms up in the air and says, “I did it!” 

Annie is a great helper.  She gets diapers, blankets, wipes…pretty much anything we ask her to do (within reason, of course).  She LOVES her little sister.  It’s awesome to watch them when they actually play together.  Annie makes Emily laugh faster and louder than anybody else can.  Annie stands on the opposite side of the living room and calls to Emily, “Come here baby.”  The best thing is that Emily crawls right over to her!

Annie has also really started loving books and songs.  She wants to read books before bed every night.  Her latest favorite is “One Fish, Two Fish…” by Dr. Seuss.  She even knows some of the different pages and counts or says certain words with you.  She loves to sing and has finally started learning words and actions, so she can tell you what she wants to sing (oh, and she DOES tell you!).

Sometimes I can’t believe how lucky I am to have this little girl in my life.  She’s so smart and funny and beautiful.  Even on the worst days, she always manages to find a way to make me laugh.  I can’t wait to see what she does with a little brother!

Comfort Food

Tonight was Chicken Fried Steak with buttermilk gravy, mashed potatoes and green beans.  Comfort food. 

Monday would’ve been my parents 36th wedding anniversary.  That’s just a random bit of information and not helpful to know, other than it means you know I had my mom on the brain.

Kris and I were having a conversation about different people we know that just seem to have kids for the sake of having kids.  Like they’re a status symbol.  Like they’ll save them from their lives.  It’s not about sharing your life with another little person, teaching them and watching them grow.  It’s about what a child will do for you.

I never wanted kids.  I don’t make much of a secret out of that. 

When I was little, I wasn’t around kids enough to really think about having my own someday.  By the time I was old enough to care, I had enough things happen in my life to know that I would never want someone else (especially someone I was responsible for) to endure the pain and loss that I had.  And when I was even older, I knew for certain I would screw a kid up.  Bad. 

I’m not sure what really changed my mind, probably a combination of things.  I remember the day I felt like I was okay with losing my mom.  I knew I was okay, and I knew that I had no control over it.  Just like I would have no control over the things that would happen in my children’s lives.  Some things just happen.  Death is one of those things.

I also remember the day when I was okay with the decisions I had made and the person they had made me.  They weren’t mistakes.  They were decisions.  Moments in my life that I had taken advantage of my free agency.  Mostly I realized I had more courage (and maybe sanity) than I originally gave myself credit for, because I pulled myself out of that place.

That’s when I met Kris, and I knew from watching him with his nephew Kevin, that I could have kids with him, and it would be okay.

Truthfully, though, I never thought I would enjoy motherhood like I do.  Motherhood is my comfortable place. I may not always do everything right, and it’s hard (3 days of baby diarrhea make it harder), but it’s the best place to be.  I love my babies…out of control, unexplainable love.  The best thing is that I don’t care about the sleep I’m missing, the things I don’t get to do anymore, the money I don’t have, or the friends I don’t have. 

I don’t have many memories of my mom, but I remember being 8 years old and riding the Matterhorn at Disneyland  with her.  In that moment, she was my very best friend.  It’s okay (now) that she’s gone, because for the briefest time, I had the greatest mom EVER.  I’d sacrifice anything to make sure my kids have that one memory of me where they feel that way.