Sunday

Here’s my confession…At the beginning of the week I chose to watch a movie that I absolutely shouldn’t have watched. A friend said it had a good story to it and it wasn’t “that scary.” I’m a big baby when it comes to scary movies…I like the feeling of being scared, I just don’t like it to last. And usually I don’t watch anything where that feeling lasts – because, let’s get real, there’s no such thing as zombies or vampires.

Here’s what I learned…what you allow in your home (as far as media, TV, music, etc.) affects the Spirit of your home. No kidding, right? The prophets have been saying that for years. I’m a proud person, though, and have always kind of considered myself immune to that…like I am unaffected by it and can watch/listen/read pretty much anything I want and it makes no difference.

Wrong.

All week, since watching this movie, I can’t get these VERY vivid images out of my head. What’s worse is that all those images from the movie have led to ridiculous thoughts in my own head.

I haven’t had a good night of sleep in a week. Emily has had a hard time getting to sleep with me (Kris is on graveyards), because as soon as I walk into her dark room, I panic, my heart rate goes nuts and she can tell.

I’m embarrassed and ashamed that I would knowingly let this feeling into my home. And very humbled.

That’s probably why our Sunday was so awful. I’ve been a total grouch all week. Annie has hit that phase where she just chatters all the time. I want her to be quiet. Like, 5 minutes of quiet would be awesome. She just goes. It’s crazy. All morning, I wanted to tape her mouth shut (no lie). And all morning I kept thinking, “Church better be good.” Yeah, of course its going to be stellar with that kind of attitude.

Our Relief Society lesson was about getting the monkeys off your back. Two things I needed to hear:

• The opening song – “Count Your Blessings”
• “If anyone can change the dismal situation into which we are sliding, it is you. Rise up, oh women of Zion, rise up to the great challenge which faces you.” GORDON B. HINCKLEY (I Googled this quote and loved the end part of it: “My message to you, my challenge to you, my prayer is that you will rededicate yourselves to the strengthening of your homes.”)

I’m feeling a little (okay, A LOT) more determined to get rid of my monkeys, those comfortable little things that give me lots of excuses for doing things I shouldn’t (should’ve, would’ve could’ve). First step, no more scary movies at my house.

Sundays are exhausting…