Sunday

Let me just say, having Kris home on Sundays helps IMMENSELY. He got up this morning, made us eggs, bacon and potatoes (AND cleaned up his mess!). We could tag-team with the girls when they got rotten. It was great! Kris got out Annie's tunnel this morning and she and Emily had so much fun playing in it. They were so worn out, both of them took naps during Sacrament Meeting, which pretty much never happens!

I read two really lovely quotes from the Ensign this morning (that's right...I had time to read the Ensign! Why can't Kris be off every Sunday!?). They are from an article, "Faith and Infertility" from April. I didn't relate to everything (since clearly infertility is not really a problem at this point), but I did relate to the message on faith.

• “When someone has an ailment or an illness and they are healed as the result of a blessing, their faith is being strengthened. But for those who aren’t healed but continue faithful, their faith is being perfected. The first is a faith-promoting experience. The second is faith-perfecting.”

• “Sometimes we get caught up in the one-size-fits-all mentality, and we feel that our lives should look like other people’s lives. But that’s really not true. Everyone has different trials, and Heavenly Father is aware of those. If we are humble enough to follow the plan He has for us, we’ll be happy.”

I figure someday things won't be as hard as they are now. That's where the whole faith thing comes in.:)

Everything after church was pretty much a nightmare. No naps. Alot of crying and pouting and fit-throwing. Annie even got her first time-out for spitting out her peas at dinner. I was definitely grateful to not be fighting that battle alone tonight.:)

Motherhood

Two blogs in two days...I know, hard to believe!:)

We have been going through the Terrible Two's for too long at our house. TOO LONG! I love my Annie but sometimes I look at her and I want to run! She can go from happy to tantrum in 3 seconds flat. Of course, her little sister has a similar ability so I am predicting the next few years are going to be pretty rough.
This is not quite what I imagined motherhood will be.
I'm really lucky to know a wide variety of women. Alot of them are like me - moms with a few kids. It's a great place to be in life...I wouldn't trade it for anything. I know other women - some single and wanting desperately to be married with a family, some single and wanting desperately to stay single, newlyweds, married without kids, divorced...the list could probably keep going. I'm always intrigued by what those women I know who don't have kids think motherhood is about. I think some of them have a clue, especially ones with much younger siblings. I was one of those who had NO IDEA what I was getting myself into.
My dad, a single dad for the last 19 years, told me today that having kids is a bigger sacrifice than most people realize. Yep. I've been through some rough things in my life, but none harder than just being a mom.

I wish I had known how little sleep I'd get. Sometimes I get 6 hours of sleep a night. Sometimes I get 2. Sometimes I get a nap, but most of the time not.
Showering? I wish somebody would've told me to enjoy my showers before I had kids.
Eating? While they eat, I babysit to make sure there's not food on the floor, wall, in their hair, etc. Then I rush through whatever cold food is on my plate. Sometimes standing up.
I don't have more than 2 items of clothing that aren't stained. I go to the bathroom with an audience. My house is generally a disaster. I stumble over toys in the dark. I find diapers in the weirdest places. I am constantly sticking my fingers in little mouths trying to figure out what they're eating. I am also a giant tissue for boogers.
I yell more than I should and I do things I always said I would NEVER do. I am not ashamed to say I have ZERO problem with this. I let my child get away with things I probably shouldn't, because I don't have the patience to fight with her about it.
I cry on a pretty regular basis because I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING.
The good news is that, because I don't know what I'm doing, I'm never really sure if I'm doing it wrong. For all I know, I'm doing everything right.:)

Motherhood just isn't what I anticipated. It does have its perks, though.

I am the first to be warned if the food is too hot.
I always have somebody to hold my hand, especially when I'm sad.
When I rescue a binky or a toy or something else equally as important, I'm pretty much the greatest thing EVER.
I'm pretty much the greatest thing most of the time, regardless of what I do.
Emily smiles bigger for me than anybody else. She lights up all over the place when I come in the room and cries if I walk past her without talking to her.
Annie, without any encouragement or prompting, runs up and hugs me and says, "Love you Mama."

I'll clean up crushed Cheerio's and deal with crayon on the wall just for that.

Sunday

I hate Sundays. I think I've said that before...probably more than once. HATE. I've always felt like Sunday needed to be "different". My kids need to know that Sunday is a special day. I decided no TV, cartoons, etc. before church, so we could have a "spiritually uplifting" kind of Sunday.

In a perfect world, the morning is lovely. We wake up at 7 a.m., change diapers, turn on some church music and make pancakes and eggs and enjoy all our morning before we get ready for church. Cute, huh? This morning: Emily woke up at 1 a.m. and finally managed to get to sleep around 5:30 a.m. (Annie's in on my perfect world, though...she had to be woken up about 7:15!). Kris went to bed (he's on graveyards) at 7:30, Annie had a banana and milk and Emily had a bottle. I had a ham sandwich. And we watched Toy Story 3. They did let me make cupcakes (picture at the bottom). Emily only cried the last 10 minutes of trying to get that done. Then she cried for the next 45 minutes. And she spit-up on her dress.

We got to church and Annie was so wound up I wanted to scream. She's 2...truthfully, I don't know what I expect. But seriously, a little quiet would be awesome. She chattered, jumped up and down, laid on the floor. To deal with that on 2 hours of sleep was ridiculous. Why did I go to church?

Oh right, so I could listen to 4 talks (4 TALKS!?!) about the importance of the Sabbath. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Humble yourself, before the Lord humbles you.

I missed most of the talks, but here's what touched my heart. When I came back in from taking Annie out (she's lucky there was people in the foyer...she had a spankin' coming!!), the last speaker was talking about having little kids and how difficult it is to get to church, read scriptures, do Family Home Evening, etc. with little people. Then he talked about the intentions of our hearts, and how our intentions AND our obedience are what the Lord looks at.

Thank heavens for that, cause my intentions are usually pretty good. I'm trying. So hard. And when I think, "How am I going to do all this with 3 kids?", I feel a little better knowing that at least I'm trying. I haven't given up yet. Yet.:)

When I got home, my cousin (who just got called to be R.S. President in her ward...she's pretty incredible, no lie) had left this comment on my Facebook (I put that I was giving up on Sundays). She said, "I remember not long ago thinking this same exact thing. My wonderful mother often reminded me there is a time and a season in each of our lives for everything. The important thing is you are teaching your beautiful little girls the importance of obedience. Even when you go and don't feel like you got anything out of it. They are growing up realizing you spend Sundays at church. And some day in the not to distance future you will get your spiritual uplifting Sundays back. And then you will be called to be the RS pres."

So next Sunday we'll go back to our BYU Radio and skip the cartoons. My family needs to know that Sunday is a different day. And I'll do my best to not think about how HARD it is going to be after November.:)


Snickers cupcakes. They helped ease the difficult Sunday.:)

June - What We're Up To

This has been a pretty laid back month for us, so far (with the exception of the one day we tried to potty train Annie....yeah, we'll be waiting a little while longer...). There's still 20 something days left for us to find some excitement, though! We were planning a few days at the cabin, but thanks to the threat of forest fires, that's probably not going to happen till the end of summer. We are getting VERY excited about our trip to Las Vegas next month. We'll be at the timeshare for a week with some of the Hunter family. It's going to be SO much fun!
My house is a mess, but seriously, its SO hot already, doing anything that takes much energy...well, it just isn't happening! I am not looking forward to these summer months. Been doing alot of baking (stupid cravings!), but nobody minds. Last week I made Strawberry Lemonade and Mayan Chocolate cupcakes.

This week I made Texas Chocolate Cake, and a friend just shared a recipe for Snickers cupcakes. SNICKERS CUPCAKES! I'm dying to make those...they sound DELICIOUS!
Things we've discovered so far this month:

Emily LOVES strawberry jam.:)

Everybody loves chocolate cake batter.

Annie LOVES her new bed.


Nursery (and 11 a.m. church) exhaust poor Annie.



I read this poem on a friend's blog and it hit that little spot in my heart (the one that always makes me cry!). I find myself ALWAYS thinking, "I need to be a better mother." Not that I think I'm a bad mom...I don't beat my children (although I am guilty of thinking about it...ha), I feed them and bathe them and keep them safe, I kiss them goodnight and most importantly, I tell them alot how AMAZING they are and how much I love them. But, there are things I could do to be better (scriptures, prayers, FHE, etc.), and so that's what I'm working on. I wanted to make sure I had this poem somewhere, though, cause I didn't want to forget it!

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I’d do more hugging and less tugging.
~Diane Loomans