A Light at the End of the Tunnel?

Over the last month here in Idaho, I have had to remind myself over and over again that we didn't come here to fail.  The thought itself actually came from a quote I found on a small piece of notebook paper, stuffed inside a backpack pocket, while we were packing.  It's from Neal A. Maxwell: "Though we live in a failing world, we were not sent here to fail."  I guess in my heart, I know that Heavenly Father wouldn't have answered our prayers and set us up for disaster (although over the course of 2013, I have felt like this was one disaster after another).
On Mother's Day, the Primary kids got up and sang "Heavenly Father Loves Me", including my cute Annie who was so brave to go up in a new ward and sing.  That was the sweetest reminder to me that I know Heavenly Father loves me and although I can't always see into the darkness ahead, he can.
Where am I going with this?  We got a job.  Well, Kris got a job (and I get to go back to my job as a stay-home mama).  Idaho Milk Products is the second company that he interviewed with, and they offered him a job.  2 interviews is all it took.  Kris is sort of awesome that way.  People seem to just...like him.  
It's been interesting to see a very real sense of discouragement and then hope.  We've talked alot about how we know its important for us to be in Idaho because of how hard it has been.  Nothing good comes without a struggle.  I could see Kris getting discouraged and we would wonder why we moved to Idaho...and then he got calls for interviews (two in one day!).  Then the waiting...and I watched him (and me too) get SO discouraged.  And then he got a text from one of his references saying someone had called him.  
I can't describe it...it was like watching a church video or something, where you can see the power Satan can have.  I felt like I could almost feel Satan influencing our thoughts.  (Weird?  I'm not sure, but its seriously how I felt.)  Its been a long time since I felt that way.  It was easier to feel discouraged and frustrated than it was to remember why we had faith in the first place.  Thankfully, Heavenly Father knows my weaknesses and still blesses me, even when I doubt.
Kris finding a job so fast has reaffirmed my faith about being here.  Yes, its still really hard.  We've been to church four Sundays and I still don't feel comfortable.  Annie is still talking about living in our yellow house again, which makes my heart a little sad every time.  I'm still very home sick...more so for people than for the place itself.  I really miss my friends!  And there's still weather.  68 degrees on Memorial Day.  I don't even know what that's about.  I must admit, I have never found more comfort in the temple, scriptures and words of the prophets than I have this last month.  A quote from Jeffrey R. Holland has also been a great reminder for me:
"Beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. “Cast not away therefore your confidence.” Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.".

I'm Not Super Great at Living in Idaho

I signed up to make a cake for a funeral in our new ward.  And then I burned it.  I never burn cakes.  Never.
Also, my kids puked from Mesa to Salt Lake City on the night of our move.
Then everybody got the flu.
Then Kris got to spend the night in the hospital with a viral infection (at least it wasn't pneumonia, right?!).
Then everybody got the sniffles and coughs and snotty noses.
Kris has been without a job for 3 1/2 weeks.
On top of that...Idaho has weather.  WEATHER.  I had to go find jackets for my kids because I was not prepared for weather!
I get lost pretty much everywhere I go. 
And then there was the night that the girls cried and cried that they wanted to go home.  We tried to explain that this is our home now.  Annie's response?  "This is Grandma's home.  I want to go to my yellow home."  I've heard this a couple times since.
Sensing a pattern?  Yeah.  Me too.
Really, truthfully, I thought moving would be the hard part.  Why did I think that?  No.freaking.clue.  I just did.  It was so hard to pack up our 1500 square feet and load it into a Uhaul and drive away from our home.  Our home.  The place where my babies learned to walk.  The house we designed and built and struggled in.  My 6 burner gas stove.  Not to mention, my hometown.  Yes, it was a little rough living there sometimes, but I loved it.  I was safe and comfortable and okay there.  It was like Cheers...everybody knew my name.  I'm missing that.  A lot.
What kind of weirdos just pack up and move to Idaho?  Us.  We do.  Call it a leap of faith, because that's exactly what it was.  And I really thought the leap of faith was in the packing and getting to Idaho.  Not enduring the first 2 1/2 weeks of being here.  
Kris has said a few times that we're having a "Lehi experience".  We prayed about what to do and where to go, got an answer, and left everything.  Although, I don't anticipate destruction in Thatcher or anything.:)  I'm working really hard to finish the Book of Mormon before the end of June (so I can read it twice during 2013) and I'm highlighting every instance of the word "faith".  But really, I feel like I'm relating with Sariah every day.  She had amazing faith to just pack up and leave Jerusalem, leaving her family and friends and home behind.  What I really love about her though is that I know she complained (see 1 Nephi 5 if you don't believe me!).  There she was...faith faith faith faith complain repent faith faith faith faith...  
The running joke right now is that I'm not going to be blessed for enduring the trials we're having right now because I'm not enduring them well.  I'm complaining.  I'm horrible at living in Idaho.  Everything feels like a burden.  The thing I love about my Heavenly Father (among many things, of course) is His ability to gently remind me and push me towards humility.  Sunday we had a lesson in Relief Society that I had already heard weeks ago at home.  But let me tell you, I needed that lesson WAY more this time around than I did before.  It was Lorenzo Snow Chapter 7.    The whole lesson...remarkable.  But my gentle reminder was this:  
   

...The Lord has from time to time given us trials and afflictions, if we may so call them; and sometimes these trials have been of that nature that we have found it very difficult to receive them without murmur and complaint. Yet at such times the Lord blessed us and gave us sufficient of His Spirit to enable us to overcome the temptations and endure the trials.

Every man and woman who serves the Lord, no matter how faithful they may be, have their dark hours; but if they have lived faithfully, light will burst upon them and relief will be furnished.

Things have just not gone the way I expected.  Like, at all.  I thought moving would be the hard part but its all hard.  And I think all my prayers have just been long-winded complaints to my Heavenly Father about how nothing is going the way I want.  HOWEVER...He is so patient with me and gentle and kind and long-suffering.  Especially long-suffering.  

   

 

Who Loves Disneyland??? Pretty much everyone.

For our big vacation this year…you guessed it…Disneyland!!  I begged and pleaded and maybe cried a little (but I can’t be sure on that…) and Kris finally agreed we would go to Disney this year.  The icing on the cake was when Grandpa said he wanted to go to, so Grandpa & Aunt Ruth came along for our serious Southern California vacation.  It was delightful.

We started our trip out on a Friday morning.  At 4 a.m.  Cause that’s how I roll (okay, its more how my kids roll).  We had one barfing kid just outside of Tucson (but at least we made it a whole two hours before there was puke!).  I actually thought getting my kids up ridiculously early would mean they’d be asleep when the car started.  Not a surprise…I was mostly wrong.  Grandpa requested IHOP for breakfast, so after cleaning up Emily (the guilty one), we made our way to IHOP, where my sweet Annie discovered Happy Face Pancakes.  They also discovered that they don’t like Dramamine.  And I discovered that you’re supposed to crush it, not just give it to them whole with a spoonful of yogurt.  Lesson learned.

On our way we stopped at Aunt Mervie’s house in Yuma.  Her grandson Micheal has a pet turtle.  Here’s another lesson we learned – Annie is horrified of turtles, Emily is indifferent (although prone to acting like her sister in situations where her sister screaming bloody murder), and Jack is fearless towards them.  Kris got the turtle out and put it on the floor so the kids could watch it walk.  Annie cowered in the corner, Emily just watched and Jack ran to it and picked it up!  It was so funny to watch their different reactions.

While in San Diego we stayed in Ramona at one of our timeshare resorts.  We were able to get a 2 bedroom suite and it was fun for the kids to get to have all day access to Grandpa (I’m pretty sure he’s tired of us, actually).  We spent 3 full days there.  On Sunday we went to Sea World.  My children discovered penguins and dolphins and sea lions and Shamu and popcorn.  In the 10 days we were amusement park-ing(1 day in Sea World and 4 days in Disney), I must’ve heard, “I want popcorn” 80 thousand times.  I might be exaggerating.  Really, I had no idea how much my kids love popcorn! 

Sea World was a fun day.  Annie even got to go on Shipwreck Rapids.  I’m not sure what was more entertaining for her, the ride or the people we shared our “raft” with – they were screaming and not speaking English and she was…amazed.  When I asked her if she wanted to go on it again, she quickly said, “No,” then hesitated and said, “Yes.”  Love that kid.

   

 

On Tuesday we checked out at Ramona and made our way to San Diego to see the beach.  We were also able to stop at the new Mormon Batallion site in Old Towne, which was more fun than I anticipated.  I remember going as a kid and it was a museum (I actually had nightmares before we left for our trip about my children pulling pictures off the wall).  Now they have a whole exhibit you walk through, with talking pictures and video and music.  So fun.  Annie and Emily even got to pan for gold.  Until they dumped water all over themselves.

   

We ate lunch at Anthony’s Fish Grotto (go…try the clam chowder, its delightful).  I requested a window seat so the girls could watch the ocean.  They were too impressed to eat their lunch. 

And then we drove to Anaheim.  I never want to live in Southern California.  That traffic is just stupid.  We got to stay at the Homewood Suites again.  Here’s my free plug for Homewood Suites (you’re welcome, Hilton)…it’s fantastic for kids.  Monday through Thursday they have free dinner, and every day they have free breakfast.  My kid is addicted to waffles now.  And the pool is just right in March!:)

We spent Wednesday, Thursday (just us, no Grandpa or Ruthie), Friday AND Saturday at Disneyland.  Also, I’m ridiculous.  4 days in Disney?  I’m surprised I’m alive to tell about it.

Annie loved the tea cups (who doesn’t love spinning tea cups?!), Jungle Cruise, Tarzan’s Treehouse, Small World, Jumpin’ Jellyfish, Mickey’s Fun Wheel…I’m pretty sure there’s not a ride she didn’t love.  She wanted to do everything!  She even wanted to feed the ducks living all over the park!  My Annie is probably the funnest kid I know.  I would definitely take her to Disneyland with me again.:)

Emily was horrified of King Arhtur’s Carousel in Fantasyland, but LOVED King Triton’s in California Adventure (we rode it twice in a row just because she loved it so much).  She was a riot.  Everything was either fun or scary (her words, not mine).  Pirates and Haunted Mansion…scary.  Pinocchio…fun.  You get the idea.  She was so cute to watch with the different characters we saw because she was just amazed.  She never smiled, but she always hugged them and was super sweet. 

Jack was just happy to be along for the ride.  He did awesome on everything, except the stroller.  No kidding, every.single.time. I put him in the stroller, he arched his back and screamed.  It was out of control.

 

Kris loved California Screamin’.  I did not.

 

We stayed at the parks ALL day on Thursday, and stayed through World of Color at CA.  Love that show.  It’s amazing.  Jack and Emily slept through it.  I woke Annie up just before it started.  She LOVED it.  I probably watched her more than I did the actual show.  That girl has the most remarkable facial expressions.

One of our favorite things at Disneyland is the Golden Horseshoe.  Emily got to sit with Grandpa…she had a FUN time with him! 

Our other favorite thing at Disneyland is the food!  Usually I would just chalk that up to being fat and loving food in general (which we do), but there’s something about Disneyland food.  Yes, its ridiculously over-priced, but it is DELICIOUS!  We ate ice cream on Main Street at the Gibson Girl Ice Cream Parlor (where Annie made friends with a girl with a prosthetic arm…Annie was completely mesmerized by her), Dole Pineapple Whips, beignets, churros (lots of churros), popcorn (LOTS of popcorn), fried chicken at the Plaza Inn (best fried chicken EVER.  Ever.  Seriously, ever.), and we even had popsicles in a cup (No, I would not let my 4 year old eat a popsicle on her own…frozen lemonade?  Popsicle in a cup!  I’m a genius and my kid thought it was awesome.).  I love Disneyland food.  I don’t care what it costs.  Love it.  Love.  It.  Okay, I’m done.

 

Saturday night we got to stay for the parade.  I love me some Disneyland parades.  They are amazing and holding my girls while they watched it was so fun!  They waved to everybody and clapped to the music.  And it was at night…Disneyland is magical at night, in my opinion.  We skipped the fireworks, but we did make it back to our hotel just in time for Annie to watch them from the window.  She saw one and then there was a pause.  She cried, thinking she had missed them.  That pause was followed up with several fireworks all at once…and she was content.:)

 

 

  

I have such fond childhood memories of our summer vacations to Southern California, where we’d stay at Mission Beach in San Diego and go to Sea World and Disneyland.  I love those memories.  But they pale in comparison to the memories I get to make with my own babies there.  Experiencing Disneyland through little eyes is just amazing.  Being able to have that kind of fun with them is one of the best parts of parenthood.  Every time I looked at them, they had enormous eyes and huge smiles.  And I probably cried.  A little.